Have you ever thought “I’m just not a communication person”?
Or believed you aren’t naturally good at speaking up?
How many times have you labelled yourself that way and stayed silent because of it?
How many times did you accept “this is just how I am” and moved on?
If this feels familiar, you’re in the right place.
Welcome to My Little Corner of the Internet
Hello, and welcome to this little corner of the internet where I write about mindset and communication.
Here, I don’t just teach you how to speak up; I help you break free from limiting beliefs so you can lead your life confidently.
Because communication is not just about words.
It’s about how you see yourself.
And today, we’re talking about the beliefs and identities that silently shape how you communicate and ultimately, how you live your life.
You Learned the Skills, So Why Doesn’t It Show?
You may have joined multiple courses.
You may have learned techniques, frameworks, and tips.
But when real-life moments arrive—meetings, conversations, public speaking—you still feel:
- Nervous
- Underconfident
- Not like the best version of yourself
At some point, you may have told yourself:
“I’m just not good at communication.”
“I don’t have the natural ability.”
And that’s where the real problem begins.
Communication Isn’t a Skill Problem.
It’s an Identity Problem.
Let me walk you through this.
How a False Identity Is Created
Over time, you create an identity about yourself.
It might come from:
- Parents
- Teachers
- Friends
- Colleagues
- Or repeated conversations with yourself
Your brain doesn’t question whether these labels are true or false.
It simply accepts repetition as truth. As Shad Helmstetter says in his book ‘What to Say When You Talk to Yourself’, “Repetition is a convincing argument.”
So when you repeatedly tell yourself “I’m bad at communication,” your subconscious mind believes it and works hard to protect that identity.
In real-life situations, fear shows up.
Not because you lack skills but because your brain is trying to stay consistent with the identity you’ve already accepted.
This creates a cycle:
- False identity
- Fear and hesitation
- Avoidance or underperformance
- Reinforced belief
And the cycle continues until you identify the real root cause.
Why Identity Always Wins Over Skills
Skills are external.
Identity is internal.
You can learn all the techniques in the world, but if deep down you don’t believe you’re a good communicator, your identity will overpower your performance.
Your inner voice quietly says:
- “This isn’t you.”
- “You’re going to mess this up.”
- “Stay safe. Stay silent.”
Until that inner identity changes, skills alone won’t help.
The Role of Self-Talk in Shaping Communication
Self-talk plays a massive role in shaping identity.
This idea is beautifully explained in the book ‘What to Say When You Talk to Yourself’ by Shad Helmstetter.
He explains that self-talk directly influences the subconscious mind and the subconscious mind shapes our reality.
As he says:
It follows that if every action you take, of any kind, is affected by prior programming, then the end results of your actions are equally affected—in short, how successful you will be at anything is tied to the words and beliefs about yourself that you have stored in your subconscious mind. And what is stored there, for most of us, was decided for us by someone else.
So if you want to become a confident communicator, you must first reprogram the internal language shaping your identity.
But this brings another important question:
Who decided that you were not a good communicator?
Think about it.
You weren’t born with this label.
So who put it on you and why did you accept it so easily?
And if you weren’t born with it, don’t you think it’s time to break that identity now?
Don’t you want to take things into your own hands?
What Can You Do Next?
1. Start With Awareness
Awareness is always the first step.
Observe how you talk to yourself:
- What labels have you accepted?
- What stories do you repeat about yourself?
It doesn’t matter how the wall was built.
What matters is that you have the power to break it now.
2. Ask Yourself These Questions
Before you move on, pause here.
Reflect honestly:
- What do I really think of myself?
- Do I see myself as a good communicator? Why or why not?
- Who gave me this label?
- How strongly do I believe it?
- Have I held myself back from speaking up because of this identity?
Awareness creates choice.
And choice creates change.
3. Rebuild Your Identity Through Self-Talk
This may feel uncomfortable at first and that’s normal.
You’re not lying to yourself; you’re rewriting an outdated identity.
Your self-talk can begin like this:
- “I am a good communicator, and I’m improving every day.”
- “I no longer let fear control my voice.”
- “I am in charge of my presence and expression.”
- “I am taking control of my own life.”
Practice this daily.
Because reading this blog alone won’t change anything; consistent action will.
What Changes When Your Identity Changes?
When your identity shifts:
- Fear loosens its grip
- Confidence rises naturally
- You start using your skills freely
- You listen better, connect deeper, and speak with clarity
Communication becomes easier, not because you learned a trick, but because you finally believe you belong in the conversation.
You begin to trust yourself.
You step into a new identity; the identity of a confident communicator.
Final Thoughts:
Communication is not an innate talent.
It is learnable.
But it is deeply influenced by your inner world.
Until you work on that inner world, no amount of techniques will help you become the communicator or the leader, you dream of becoming.
Because mindset and communication are at the core of everything.
If this blog resonated, share it with someone who’s learning to find their voice.
And if you’re ready to take control of your life and become the CEO of your own life, explore more blogs here.
This space is about building your inner world, so you can show up powerfully in the outer one.
This article is so eloquently written and professionally articulated, we all have been guilty of labeling ourself as not a natural communicator and trying to escape the scene rather than finding the root cause of our problem. This shows how external influences not only shapes our decision making but our personality as well. Sometime problem may not be in us but rather where we are at and how we have been programmed. While it takes a huge leap of faith for one coal to turn into diamond among all coals, and we all may not have such high faith, but what
we have is power to observe and change
what a piece!!!